Date with Destiny. Sound promising right!? I’ve been a long time fan of Tony Robbins. I used to watch Tony’s infomercials on TV when I was 12 because the actual “Power Within” cassette tapes where too expensive (remember, I was only 12!). After watching the infomercial over and over again, my mother got so fed up that she bought me all his books on a trip to Scotland, which I devoured immediately. So when I attended Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny (eighteen years later), I wasn’t sceptical, quite the opposite, I was ecstatic. But I remember I couldn’t find an honest review anywhere on the web, so a few years after attending this six-day program, I decided to write one myself.
So the reason I’m making it clear that I’m a fan of Anthony Robbins is to make sure you know I really want to write a good review (but alas this isn’t a good review). I committed close to $6,000 for a ticket. I travelled around the world to attend this seminar in Palm Springs. That was three flights, a bus journey and two taxi rides (and that was just one way!). Unfortunately, it wasn’t worth it …
What is Date With Destiny?
Well it’s a beast of a program – it’s six intensive days. Here’s a quick summary:
- Day 1: Preparation Day
- Day 2: Evaluation Day
- Day 3: Discover Day
- Day 4: Relationship Day
- Day 5: Transformation Day
- Day 6: Integration Day
So yes, there’s lots of content. It’s long days, lot’s of crazy dancing, hugging strangers, sharing your deepest feelings to people you’ve never met before and consequently making some new friends
All of this comes at a steep price, a normal ticket costs USD 5,995 – but you can usually get a better deal by calling them up. Regardless, that’s a lot of money, but if it changes your life, it’s certainly worth it right?
Does It Work?
I think it does … for some people. But attending a program with the hopes that it will change your life is very likely to lead to you being hugely disappointed.
I can only really comment on my own experience, but there’s plenty of testimonials out there of people who claim their life has been turned around after attending Date With Destiny. And honestly, I witnessed plenty of people having an incredible experience. There’s people that literally transform before your eyes. It’s incredible. Unfortunately, these people tend to be the handful of people that get picked to speak directly to the man himself (Tony).
One incredible example of this was a woman who stood up to share a problem she was having (I can’t remember the detail, and it doesn’t really matter). She looked like a very unpleasant woman. She was a 40+ woman with a mini skirt on, and dressed very provocatively – considering most people are in super comfortable clothes in this environment. Tony cut right through the bulsh**t and confronted her about her “real” issues. Even mentioned (quite confrontationally) the way she was dressed. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on the woman’s face. She was clearly a beautiful woman, but carried herself in a way that made her very unattractive. Her face completely changed during this three minute conversation. Just to give you an idea, there is a camera right in her face, and there’s big screens showing this. So you get to see it all. Incredibly, her expression and appearance just transformed. All of a sudden she became attractive. Her expression changed, everything completely changed. It was amazing.
But I also witnessed people having a similar experience to mine: disappointment.
What really struck me was the people I spoke to that keep coming back to these kinds of seminars despite not seeing any results. I was super excited to go to Tony’s Business Mastery program, and I met a guy who has gone 9 times (I think!); and still wasn’t where he wanted to be. He encouraged me to go as it will change your life. But it hadn’t quite done that for him – but this guy didn’t see this.
There was a guy who came every year for the last decade or so, and was still depressed and suicidal. It was a very touching experience seeing him, as he was picked to get on stage. I think he was really helped by the experience, but that is one person out of the thousands of people who get individual attention from Tony.
It’s hard for me to say, as I really do think the world of Tony, but the programme is over-hyped, full of promises and massively under-delivers. Let me explain.
The problem lies with the expectation that is built before you attend the seminar. You get bombarded with promises such as:
- Discovering your purpose;
- Find more fulfilment;
- Find more passion;
- Find more happiness;
- Reshape your life;
- and lastly: “realign your values and start living the life you desire and deserve.” (whatever that means!)
That’s a big ask. So you get convinced by a great looking sales page, testimonials from celebrities, and a sales person on the phone who will tell you anything you want to hear.
I truly belief that if you want to make a change, then it’s ALL on you. Anyone who tells you they can help you get there, is bullsh**ing you. It’s taken me many years to really understand this. No one has the answer to the so called “secrets” to life. In fact, what works for one person isn’t necessarily going to work for you (we’re all so different and want completely different things).
Now, it’s not all bad. It’s a powerful experience, and plenty of people seem to have had an amazing experience. I think I’d love it a lot more if I hadn’t travelled the world for it, and spend thousands of dollars to be there.
It gives you the tools, some motivation and a special environment where you can decide (and is super conducive) to make some real and lasting changes. The question is whether you will cary out the actions needed to make those changes once you get home to make them lasting. My guess is that most people don’t.
Now, my experience was slightly different. I was sold a space in a room that was separate from the so called main room. The sales person claimed it was the best experience. There was a big screen and free drinks and food. The best part was that Tony would come in everyday and greet us personally. Being a big fan, that made me want to be in this room more than being in the main room. Also, there was no spaces left in the main hall, so I didn’t actually have a choice. It was the same price but seeing that the event is once-a-year I decided to trust the sales person on their guarantee that it was a better experience.
Overall, it was lacking the vibe of the big room, I could hear the translators behind me, and I saw Tony only come in once (I think because too many people complained he wasn’t coming in as promised). I got to high-five him which was cool.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s an amazing programme and gives you lots of tools to take your life to the next stage. But it really doesn’t deliver on the wild promises that they make, at least not for me (and many others I spoke to after the event). For example, I think day 4 (relationship day) was incredibly powerful (and I could see couples really growing together). But if your partner isn’t with you, it’s actually difficult to implement what you learn.
But the real problem I had is that my life didn’t improve after attending this event (the whole reason anyone would go to this event). I had high expectations, promises made to me by Tony’s people, but felt almost cheated at the end of the experience. In fact, when trying to contact them later, they ignored me.
It’s a shame.
Conclusion – Should You Attend??
So I’m still a fan of Tony. A bad experience at this event hasn’t changed that. But what it did teach me was that I can’t rely on anything or anyone to bring changes in my life. Self-reliance is vital to self-improvement.
Obviously you can’t sell that advice, and certainly you cannot charge $6,000 for a six-day event with this advice as the key take-away. This might be the event that turns your life around. But if you’re looking to improve yourself, like I did, this might not be the best way to do it. There’s no magic. There’s no secret. There’s no revolutionary technologies. There’s only you pushing through your issues to become the best you. Whether you need an expensive experience to do that, I don’t think you do.
If you really want to experience Tony Robbins live, then I would recommend you attend the slightly shorter and cheaper Unleash The Power (UPW) seminar. I attended this a few years before attending Date With Destiny. It doesn’t go as deep, but is incredibly powerful. I certainly walked away feeling I received more value. The health day especially was transforming.
So there you are … I never thought I would write a negative Tony Robbins review, but I don’t want to lie to the readers of this blog. If you’ve attended one of his seminars, let me know in the comments below what your key takeaways where from the event.